Vulnerability in the Colour Green - Gigi Perez & How To Catch A Falling Knife
By Kelly Carciente
There is something so tranquil about the colour green: it embodies nature and security. Green becomes a motif in Gigi Perez’ debut EP, How To Catch A Falling Knife, a reflection of the grieving period after a breakup. While the colour may symbolize serenity, for Perez, a Hunter forest green brings anything but peace.
In ˚1824 press conference with the singer, it was evident that Perez is nothing short of generous. Along with her welcoming openness, she would emphasize the importance of authenticity in her lyrics and storytelling. Specifically, she stressed having no interest in telling a story that was not true to her, or about something she did not experience herself. From pouring her heart out writing in her bedroom with her guitar in hand, her songwriting was an avenue to inwardly address feelings that plagued her. Perez noted the catharsis from writing about her late sister, Celene’s, passing, inspiring an ode that would lead to Perez’ successful debut on TikTok. Thousands of viewers found solace in her song, cultivating a platform and community for Perez to share her most vulnerable thoughts through her music. This later led to her single “Sometimes (Backwood)” which would garner 86 millions streams and would even reach the #1 spot on the Spotify U.S. Viral chart.
In her growing success, Perez partnered with Grammy®-winning songwriter and producer Jennifer Decilveo to deliver an eight-track collection of songs that encapsulate the complicated journey of grieving the breakup with one’s first love. How To Catch A Falling Knife tackles the whirlwind of emotions that circled Perez after her relationship, from delusion, yearning, anguish, regret and acceptance. She explained the EP’s title’s significance representing jumping feet-first into a relationship despite knowing the risks she would be taking. Growing up in a conservative Christian household where feelings of shame and guilt stunted her development, Perez was not equipped with approaching romance and exploring her sexuality. Therefore, when entering this relationship, she felt as though she was finally, completely understood, thus developing an unhealthy codependency with her partner. Her yearning for finally feeling loved outweighed any of the hardships she would later endure.
Each track on the EP represents a chapter in the storybook of moments through the breakup. The EP opens with “Kill For You,” a powerful pop-rock song showcasing Perez’ alluring alto voice and a thirst for ensuring her loyalty to the point of delusion, saying, ‘Tell me what do you need / Tell me who I should be / Who I’ll kill for you’. The curtain is soon lifted with the second track, “When She Smiles”, a haunting unveiling of the toxicity she underwent, suggested by lyrics like, ‘Cause when she smiles / She will always get her way / Cause if she cries / I know it has to mean something’.
Perez noted gaining a new perspective on the colour green since falling in love as her ex-partner’s obsession with a Hunter forest green became inescapable and thus intolerable. The yearning expressed in “Balsam Fir” further colours this, where she sings ‘I wish everything wasn’t so green / I wish it didn’t make me think of you’.
“Glue” is one of Perez’ most vulnerable and strongest pieces from this EP. She grapples with the bereavement from no longer being with her partner despite them representing a ‘thorn’ in her life. The songwriter’s vocals waver in distress throughout the song, exemplifying her distress in this matter. The song picks up at the bridge where she sings ‘No more green / No Celene,’ as she hammers in the realization of her heartache in missing her ex-partner, while also struggling with the loss of her sister. She also contrasts frustration in the lyrics ‘And you are glue / And in all that I do / You’re dripping onto me / You don’t know how to let me be,’ with ‘Cause you are my glue / In all that I do,’ where she caves in defeat.
Perez notes “Figurines” as her favourite track on the EP and her favourite to perform live. “Figurines” is a sonically-different piece that stands out from all her others. The track transports listeners into wonderland through eerie audio animated through an accordion, saxophone and dreamy keys. The song’s lyrics are much grimmer than any other on this EP, as they allude to the existentialist fear of the finality of death. Perez admits this crisis is further reflected in how final heartbreak feels, and that end of a relationship feels like one less milestone away from death. The third verse delivers a sinister contrast of feeling content with oneself only to see a frightening, defeated fate, where she sings ‘I have this dream / Where I was everything I wanted to be / […] Then I saw something / Something tugging on my sleeve / When I looked down / Saw myself in the ground / Who knows what’ll happen / When nobody’s around’.
Perez’ honesty in her lyrics are what make her a truly remarkable artist. While she may be an emotional and analytical person, she is eager to share the entire process in creating and developing her work. She intends to be as open as possible and believes her EP accurately captures that. Remaining transparent in her songwriting allows her to get weight off her chest, allowing her to rid herself of others’ pressure over her.
She elaborated on the fear of releasing songs as vulnerable as “Glue”. Recording the song was especially difficult as her grief in losing her sister was exacerbated from reliving those traumatic emotional states. While such songs may have been difficult for her to write and release, Perez emphasized her relief in not caving under the pressure and fear. Despite her incredibly personal stories, Perez hopes her music can act as a vessel for listeners to find relatability in her work and to process their own hardships through her. She notes the importance of sharing vulnerable moments such as grief as its universality allows people to come together over shared experiences. Simultaneously, learning that others have gone through similar experiences with grief, anguish, and yearning also aided Perez in the healing process.
Finally, while these songs explore dark, raw feelings, they are animated and conveyed in live performances, as Perez rearranges them to keep her stories fresh. The singer shares that she thrives the most when performing her songs live as the intimacy of concerts grants the most personal connections with her listeners. She also mentioned live performances’ significance to her and her storytelling as she sees how her songs may provoke reactions in certain audiences she would not anticipate.
Whether you got the chance to listen to Gigi Perez’ live performances opening for Noah Cyrus, d4vd, or Coldplay, or whether you are on the hunt for the next best thing in music, I cannot recommend this singer enough. Her music, although holding a lot of weight in her lyrics, delivers rich, dreamy instrumentals with powerful, yet honest, vocals as she genre-bends through folk, pop, and rock. Perez recommends listening to her EP in complete darkness with AirPods in or while going through a forest to get the full immersive experience. If you’re a fan of singers and lyricists like Lizzy McAlpine, Gracie Abrams, Carlie Hanson, Lucy Dacus, and Noah Kahan, Gigi Perez should be your next listen!
